I have walked the right side of the tracks
For as long as I can remember,
Or at least I tried.
My virtues and convictions
I carried in a messenger bag
Draped across my chest and shoulder
I kept my head down
Eyes pinned to the eyes and edge of the rail
Stepping out the way of the trains
And other drifters along the way
Because it’s easier to keep everything to yourself
And wear it like a sash of honor
Even though it’s more like
The weight of a thousand fallen stars
I may have wished upon and caught as mementos
Along with eyelashes I caught midair
And a million timepieces
Stopped precisely at eleven past eleven.
I keep a tab of the money donated
To the water of the wishing well.
Yes, they are all mine
And they never came true.
I stared into the eyes of the moon
Reflecting its glow from my own
Sleep-deprived, night-dilated craters
Wondering if, at that moment,
You’re absorbing the same
Inverted face that’s casting spotlights
Against my retinas.
Even if you are
It’s not the same star we’re wishin’ on.
Reflections in rain puddles are distorted
From stepping on what I see
While someone is painting a clear
To the finest detail,
Maybe chiseled out of stone
While I fall apart like clay.
I am a coward of the worst kind;
The one who cradles his heart
With a death grip
Who fears that at any point letting
Feels like a breach of etiquette
And I avoid step aside for the head-on,
The heart-to-heart collisions
With eyes to the moon
Or down at my feet
It’s just easier to walk through life
Even though I tell myself I do.
Either way I walk to the office
And sit down and listen
Avoiding what I’m really thinking
And then I go home screaming
This one was mine
And it never came true.