It’s about 9:45 pm as I’m writing this.
I can hear the thunder rumbling outside as if it is trying to be a herald for the coming storm. Something tells me the storm has already passed. I think the rain and the clouds are rolling on out of here and I cannot say I’m not happy about that.
This has been a very difficult season of life for me. I recounted to my new Greek professor and he has proven himself to be a very wise individual and we’ve got a lot in common, mostly our punk rock background.
He said he was shocked when he found out I knew who Henry Rollins was.
But we’re getting past the point (if there really is one) so let me reign it back into the original context a little bit.
I recounted my tale of woe to this professor and he made me realize that I’d been dealing with some facet, some portion of this issue since spring semester last year. Then it was just the overly tired, sleeping through alarms issue. Since then I’ve given up one drug in favor of two different ones. And I don’t feel I’m being overmedicated. This is probably the most alive that I’ve felt since coming off that med.
I realized that it ate up 6 months of my life.
And a lot of it was because I didn’t know who to talk to. And obviously I wasn’t talking to the right people because I didn’t get it fixed until last month. Mostly, I’m happy or at least relaxed and calm which is more than I could say for myself back then. I’ve got a new, very intelligent psychiatrist whose brain could probably win in a fight with almost any other doctor I’ve seen.
And I’m seeing a therapist. From what I’ve read on the subject therapy can be very helpful with most Axis I diagnoses for symptom management. For me it’s been a place to go without judgement and say what I’m feeling which is not always the most translatable in most contexts.
I was hesitant to try therapy again after having tried and failed twice on therapy already. I told her that and those two stories and she laughed and told me I got dealt the archetype for bad therapists. Good to know my luck is good.
Aside from a sore back things are pretty decent now. School is stressing me out a little but I took a mental health day and got mostly caught up or at least want to be for the time being.
So, with that being said I’ll leave you with what I felt I was being told through this long process:
May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Colossians 1:11-14 ESV)