Secrets to Make You Suffer

There are things about myself that I don’t tell a lot of people.

I realize that by writing this I’ll be airing all of these things out but judging from the reader stats on my blog recently I don’t think I have to worry about any secrets getting out any time soon. And, even if they did get out, I don’t suppose it would bother me too much. I’ve come to the point where I’m sick of sitting on these “secrets” of mine and I really would like to do something with them. And it’s not like I’ve never done anything to entertain these dreams they’ve always just sort of fallen apart or have been taken over by life and I don’t have the time for them anymore or maybe other people don’t have time for them anymore and I can’t do them by myself. Whatever the case, these are some of the things I’ve been thinking about a lot lately and things I really love doing.

I’m a writer, first and foremost. I would think that would be unbearably obvious considering the amount of “content” I churn out on this blog as well as other, more personal venues. I’ve got a story I haven’t touched in a month or two but I spent a couple months prior putting about 10,000 words into and am nowhere near finished with. But it’s there and I hope to get more work done on it some day. I like to write poetry, too. Go back about three weeks in the archives and you’ll find some of my latest stuff. My influences range from slam poetry to Ginsberg to Henry Rollins. I can’t stand a lot of poetry. I hate Robert Frost.

I try to be a musician. I’ve been trying to learn to play guitar for over a decade and I’m still more comfortable with playing hardcore punk than I am anything else. I’ve played in a few bands since I was 16 or 17, all of them relied on the heavier side of the musical spectrum. I love playing music live more than the writing process which is why I never really focused on it before. I prefer a collaborative approach to writing rather than someone bringing a full song to the table. I can scream pretty well and I’ve learned how to do it without blowing out my vocal chords. What most people don’t know and what sort of sparked the idea for this blog is that I can actually sing pretty well, too. It’s pretty rare that anyone hears me singing outside my car, shower or room. Well, there is the occasional karaoke bar where I’m usually met with a decent reception.

But not many people know that I like to sing.

And not a lot of people know that I am a performer at heart. It’s one of the things I love to do most and haven’t been able to do for too long. My poetry lends itself to more of a spoken word kind of vibe and I really love telling people things through poetry. It hits harder than just a simple speech or homily. Just like a song has more impact when there are people to hear it. So, maybe I need to find outlets for the things I create. This blog was a start, obviously, now that I think about it.

Now to find out how to damage the rest of the world.

“I too have suffered for my art. Now it’s your turn.”


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