August 13, 2012
Some days are just, overall, better than others. I’m not talking about me, but about you.
Well, I suppose I’m talking about us and our capacity to have days that are different.
I’ve worked the same job for six years and a little over two months. I take phone calls as part of the member services department at the company I work for. Last week I think I had a lot of good days where I didn’t mind being there. I had a week of days where I was full of energy and I was able to my job with little frustration. It’s difficult to escape frustration completely, though, at my job since I get to talk to a lot of angry and upset people. People who have their minds stuck on what they feel they’re entitled to can be difficult to persuade. Sometimes, I wonder how my mouse has survived this long without breaking. Then I remember I broke my last mouse after I gave it a good slam straight down into my desk.
Sometimes I have bad days.
Today was a little less energetic than the last week or so. That’s too be expected and I’m almost thankful for it since I didn’t know what to do with that amount of energy all the time. There were times when I felt like I was going to climb the walls. Anyway, today has just felt like a really long sigh. I feel like I’ve settled and, honestly, I hope this is the average energy level I attain. I can still function really well socially without becoming a complete misanthrope by the end of the day. But I was, essentially, told to overturn a decision I made last week even though the reason seemed both illogical and irrational to me. But I’m not the one calling the shots. So, I did it with a little bit of rebellion in my heart and was slightly angry about it, actually, for a little while.
I can’t hold onto things like that or I am guaranteed to have a bad day.
Anger is a poison and I have to be really careful with it. I keep referring to getting off the drug but since it was a part of my life for 5 years I’m still rediscovering some things. Anger burns now with a pure flame and I have to extinguish it quickly otherwise what is a petty annoyance will become white knuckling the steering wheel experience real quick. I’m having to remember how to contain it. So, the incident today at work: if I would have kept thinking about it I would have been unable to function properly. Instead, I decided against a bad day, swallowed my pride, completed the task, and then moved on to other work I needed to get done.
Today had its ups and downs, I guess, is what I’m saying. And for someone who is newly trying to learn how to take things one day at a time I don’t think I’m doing too bad.