The Illusion of Balance

August 7, 2012

Let’s talk about balance.

More specifically about the idea that, in our existence, we can find that perfect place where everything is aligned. When we have reached that centeredness that equally spreads out the weight of everything bad against the weight of everything good and in the middle is the perfect you. A calm, serene you who wars no longer with either side of anything in their life and they are just perfect. You are at peace.

If you have attained such a posture in life, let me know.

As far as I have been able to tell, the idea of finding balance in life is not one of continuing perfection, of calm and centeredness, but one where we are constantly fighting for that peace of mind. Let me see if I can illustrate it for you. Last year sometime I bought the P90x workout DVD’s and made it through 84 days before pinching a couple of nerves in my neck.

Anyway, part of the workout program is on day four most weeks and that is Yoga X. Now, if you know me or have even just met me it may or may not strike you as odd that I do Yoga. That’s something you’re going to have to get past on your own since that’s not really what we’re talking about. There’s a section in the 90 minute workout where you perform balance postures. These are stances that require you to stand on one foot in various poses. You may not realize it at first but, as Tony Horton points out, there are minor corrections that you make in your foot and ankle to maintain that pose and keep your body in balance.

So it goes, I think, with finding balance with a lot of things in life. Right now, I’m struggling a little bit with balance. Part of it has to do with my moods being a little off but also just not always knowing what to do with myself. I have a lot of spare time right now. I could read or watch a movie… I don’t really know right now. School’s coming up which is probably more of a blessing than I realize but I still just don’t know what to do.

My life has been in turmoil the last few weeks and I feel, more or less fine and have the last few days. I’m still trying to overcome the dread that isn’t there, the depression I’d grown so used to that, without it, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel. Yesterday, I had a good day. You can read about the first half of it in my previous entry. The rest of the day was pretty much the same. I didn’t know what to do. I legitimately did not know what to do or how to react because I was just feeling… good.

I feel like my life has been spent too long attached to the end of a yo-yo. Now that it has stopped I’m not sure where to go. There is no balance to be achieved here because balance is an illusion.

I’m always going to be making those tiny corrections.


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