One thing you have to know about me is that, more than anything, I love a good rain. More than that I love a good storm. This summer has already given us quite a bit of rain and a few storms which I can’t take issue with. But all these storms have been at night. I can’t really complain about the times in which God tells the rain to fall because night time is when I get off work. And unfortunately, after a day at my job I need a bit of a pick me up. No one ever sees it but I always find myself smiling from the heart up when I see the rain coming down through the beams of light spreading out from the street lamps. It’s also very cool to see the cross on the steeple of a nearby church, too, as I step off the curb into the parking lot to go to my car.
One of my favorite poets wrote a poem about a man he was in love with called “Flockprinter”. That bit of context aside he says some very interesting things about rain: “Rain. It’s my lucky number. It’s the author of release. It taught me that monsters are easy to come by”. I’ve often felt like that was the case. But while I don’t really believe in luck because luck implies chance and I don’t think much happens by chance, I do think that luck may also imply an unexpected gift too. Rain for me always feels unexpected, mostly because I don’t ever check the weather until after it hits. And rain, to me, is release personified, like the clouds just unzip themselves and let everything fall, and where it lands it lands. That is ultimate release, like the bearing of your soul to a complete and utter stranger.
Also, the rain touches everything when it falls. Jesus talked about the rain in the context of loving your enemies because God distributes to them love in his creation, even making the rain fall on the just and the unjust. So, every drop is a not just meant as a means of perception of God’s power but as an illustration of how we’re supposed to love those on whom the rain falls. I suddenly feel very insignificant, gripped by the sheer magnitude of that and just how small that makes me in the grand scheme of things. As if everyone on earth just stood up in my head and stared at me. We are not alone here.
And so, yesterday, we had the storm that we had been waiting for. It picked up with a stiff gust of wind while I was out on our back deck listening to Jewel and reading Proverbs. I knew that something was afoot as the sky from the direction from which the wind was blowing was quickly getting dark. I stepped back inside when the first few raindrops began to fall.
To be completely honest with you, I was feeling kind of depressed yesterday and extremely introspective so I didn’t really feel like talking to anyone at all. When I want to do that in my house I have to go outside, hide in my room, or sit somewhere with my headphones in and a book in my lap. My roommates can tell when something is bothering me so they asked and I told them things were fine. I didn’t really know what was bothering me so it’s better, sometimes, not to elucidate. When the wind picked up, I went back to reading and just listening. But then it started to sprinkle and then it started to pour and I had to see this for myself because nothing keeps me from watching rain come down.
Some of my roommates were watching the rain come down from the garage. Aside from the water spilling out as overflow from the gutters which created a waterfall all in its own, it was like watching a snow storm. All the water in the air was being tossed about in amazing ways by the wind which is something usually reserved for snow because it’s lighter than rain. But still the visual sticks and, before anyone could say a whole lot to me about it I took off my hat, socks, wallet, keys and put my phone and headphones in my hat with the rest of it and I walked out into the rain.
The water was coming in pulses because of the way the wind was blowing and the water was colder than I had expected. According to Ben, the weather reported that the rain was actually melted hail. It had rained enough that the water was starting to make deep pools around my ankles and the water was warmed by the asphalt under my feet. I was soaked. But it felt cathartic, cleansing in a way and, while I was out there, everything wrong in my mind had disappeared. I was hooting and howling and I had even more fun with my roommates with me. God gave me release in that moment, as with every drop the rain washed away the depression, the doubt, the anger, down my body and into the muddy waters in the gutter at my feet.
I was baptized January 10 of this year. I think July 14 was a reminder of that (even though it was sprinkling, not full immersion 😉 ). Sometimes we just need a reminder that God touches everything because it is His creation and He loves His children. He knows exactly what we need and, in my opinion, does a perfect job of showing that love in any way possible. He knows us before we are born and knows every hair on our head. So, it must also be remembered that he knows what will make you happy or bring you out of yourself like he did for me yesterday. I’m not self-centered enough to think that the storm yesterday was just for me because it was a cause for so many other things that day, good and bad, but I can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, he made that rain fall with me in mind.