Winter Advisory

Reach down, Father
reach down,
raise me up
with the wristclutch
despite my distrust,
my busted-up faith,
my gnarled, bloodied knuckles
cracked wide
from white-knuckling life
Thinking I was behind the wheel
accelerated by leadfoot,
no brakes to speak of.
It’s no surprise that
taking hairpins without
looking at the signs
that I’d hit a dead end.
Raise me up, Father

Raise me up
because I can’t do it alone,
been torn up and broken down
abd trampled into the ground,
and ground down to everything
I’m worth and that is
nothing.
My heart is laden, ornate with
heavy hands and anchors and weights
and in the midst of the liferush
the gates got shut-
In the passing of time
in the wake of minutessecondsdays
flying by, someone
something flipped the switch
and shut
me
down.
Light me up, Father.
Ignite the embers
within me again.

This has been
a recurring theme
year after year
I push away from
the shore into dark
waters
and don’t misunderstand me
Please.
I’ve made it to the
other shore unharmed,
undoubtedly stronger,
more vibrant and
more alive.
But many more than
3 times I’ve asked
that this be taken away.
But it remains.
So, I push, pull,
battlefightscratch
myself.

This ache still remains
This pain just stays
and I spend my days
quiet
deadtongued.
Speak to me, Father
Speak to me
And tell me this
will soon pass
and it will all make
sense
and it won’t come
back.
So the coldness outside
doesn’t match the ice
I feel inside,
so my friends aren’t worried
So I can tolerate
the open sky,
so my eyes don’t
continually trace the crack
in the pavement,
so the snow melts
away with the
emerging of the Sun
from behind my
clouded mind.

So, I don’t sleep
my days away
so close to the ground.
So close…
Raise me up, Lord
Raise
me
up.

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One thought on “Winter Advisory

  1. I don’t know exactly how to respond to this. All I can think of is the joy I have to see the small glimmer of Sunlight amidst the storm in your eyes since you posted this…God hears…

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