The empty end of the hourglass

A random, unrelated thought before I go into the real topic:

It has been impressed on my heart to be very caring and I have started caring more and being more interested in peoples’ stories.  So, when I ask you how you’re doing I’m not just being polite.  I honestly want to know.

I hit a wall today.  Not literally, but emotionally.  Everything spiraled down, down, down and I couldn’t see out of it.  So, in a fit, I grabbed a pad of paper and a pen and I went.  No thought, just gut and this is the end result.  But not the end.

That these dark feelings

would pass…

Turn on the light and

drape it over me.

Hear me scream into

the microphone in my head

that amplifies nothing

but silence.

And I can taste it

like the bitter pills I

swallow daily, not just

the ones from a prescription pad,

not just the ones designed to

heal me, no…

But the grim realizations,

the let-downs…

every ache of my soul

unremedied

because of this impure heart

and these broken, useless hands.

I am useless.

But with the guidance

of Your hand

I find joy among the dead

and I see Eden again

though from off in the East.

And wandering.

Ambling

Lost.

But out of this dust

I cry for help, vocal

and this time

more than just these

dumbfounded rocks reply.

You are the thread

of golden light amidst this darkness.

All that I have

All that I am

is written across the

scrolls of the unrolling heavens

And the wind cloaks me in

its voice:

“You are not alone here.

You are not alone anywhere.”

Of all the things to battle,

I’ve chosen myself

over and over and

again and again.

But there’s someone here

now. And there always will be.

And I am sick of fighting

so remove those gloves and

hang ’em up for now.

And let the sands of time

on this season run out.

And stay there,

sitting on the empty end

of the hourglass.

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2 thoughts on “The empty end of the hourglass

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